Real Dreams I Had In March

i stopped writing my dreams down for a while, but they've been kind of wild this month so i'm back to it.

had a baseball dream. everyone was angry with me, i wasn't doing anything right. it wasn't the real baseball team i play with, but other people i know irl. i kept fucking up but i didn't know why/how to fix what i was doing.

dreamt i was working at a small indoor/outdoor water park. there was a theater inside the building too. i had so much to take care of, setting up, watching the pool, turning on the movies, & i was still training. the guy who was training me was unworried but young & kind of irresponsible. I felt overwhelmed & was worried the kids would drown. my cat noomi was running around & suddenly she was missing. i got scared & ran out of the park, and found her on the other side of kingshighway in TGP. she was eating grass & I scooped her up and took her to bed. i was in bed with Z & Noomi & a small brown bear was in bed with us too. I knew it was there to rest & wouldn't hurt us, but noomi got up & started stomping around & i was worried it would upset the bear & that it would hurt her so i quickly grabbed her & got her out of the bear's way.

dreamt i saw a needle poking out of my stomach. i felt panicky and ill, but i pulled it through. it didn't hurt as bad as i thought it would. I could feel a whole packet of needles and realized i would have to pull them all through individually so that they wouldn't hurt my body. i was confused, i didn't remember swallowing them. there was a moment where i could see inside my stomach like looking into a pouch from above and saw more metal items, including tweezers. the pouch closed and i had to push everything out through my skin to get it out. all very distressing.

later, i was in a room with two clawfoot tubs. it was an interactive art exhibit. there were cookies spaced out in the bottom of the tub, all labeled with different flavors. i got into one tub and it was full of cookies that were traditional, sweet, typical cookies. i got out and got into the second tub. inside were gross flavors, i can't remember most of them. the one i decided to try was grass, like lawn grass. it was light green & still sweet but definitely tasted like grass.

dream I was biking across America w/ D, N, and Alex. ended up in a rainy town. stayed in a big haunted feeling wooden house. we all got different rooms. I remember struggling to make mine feel cozy. tried to find pillows & other comfy things. I remember traveling around town on foot and through tunnels & it felt pretty small town MO. D left before the rest of us. we weren't sure where D went, but they took all these plastic grocery bags with them. the ones they left I suggested making into a ghost to put in the bed to make the ghost in the house feel more welcome but N & Alex weren't sold on it. I saw my grandmother in the living room with her cats. I went out in the front yard garden to look for my cat noomi. I saw a toad that hopped away & then a skunk behind some bush. I ran off quickly & the skunk became hostile. it morphed for a moment to have long hairy white arms & haunched legs, and a more intense/jagged face. I pulled noomi inside & my grandma said the skunk was nothing to worry about & let it inside.

dreamt that corpses/skeletons were returning to life. they had circled me and i couldn't get away. a gold honda odyssey rolled up and i knew it was full of more skeletons. the door opened and someone shouted at me to get inside. i had no choice so i joined the ride but couldn't bring myself to look around the vehicle. i stared out the window until the voice told me to turn around and face her, and that she wasn't dead. i looked around to the person next to me and she told me the driver and the person behind us were dead, but that they wouldn't hurt us, they were friends. she introduced herself as Rosa. Rosa was in her late 60s, early 70s but seemed very youthful. she had cropped grey hair and was a little taller than me. she introduced the corpse in the back as Wormfill and the driver was Frogs. Wormfill was mostly decayed with some tissues still left & Frogs was almost fully decayed and missing the head & had a little dried blood on his neck spine you could see when he tilted forward. i felt sick but i trusted rosa.

we arrived at a house that was large, old, and wooden, ca. 1890s. we went in and I met two other living residents, plus a few more living-dead. i felt nervous and didn't really want to stay, but the two younger girls were really nice and fun, & they didn't seem worried. As I was walking through a hallway, peaking into different rooms, i saw a room with my name, "mere" written in gung upon the wall. I saw some other names appear & disappear. Then my "True Name" appeared & i was frightened. I ran to grab Rosa to show her and ask why it had been there, but when we returned to look at it, it was gone and i could no longer remember what my "true name" had been. Rosa seemed confused but unworried.

i went to go see what the two younger alive girls were up to & found them in the bathroom. they were my age or maybe a couple years younger. they were playing in the shower which was more of a bathhouse with other corpses hanging out too. we were splashing water on each other and running around together like children. i saw faucets on the walls that emptied out onto the tile floors and i realized it was a steam room, the whole room could be wet. Freeing.

Rosa came in and made a comment about how young I was & how her time would be "coming soon," but she said it with a smile. without saying it, she told me she would become an eternal skeleton like the rest, & i dreaded it for her. i think i knew i was bound to the same but was trying not to worry & just enjoy my youth.

dream: i was booking the show in May for Nico and I. nothing felt like the sinkhole, but that's where we were, there were pastel blues and greens all around. It was the day before the show and I found out the venue was double booked, but we could still do the show & share the bill. i wasn't thrilled but was willing to do it. the other bands were {redacted local band} and otoboke beaver. I said i was okay with the lineup, but then {person from local band} gave me some sheet music and said she was picking the songs i would be playing. I didn't know the songs & she said it wouldn't be a big deal because i'm a fast learner & went to music school so I should be able to learn them before the show. i conceded. i left and thought it was all over & was feeling really angry and decided to go back and talk to her and say i wouldn't play the songs. we talked it over in a japanese diner and she said it was okay to play my own music. i spotted a friend who had ordered a 4ft tall bottle of sake. i was upset & asked them not to drink it all on their own because it would be dangerous. they said they were going to drink it all and laughed and asked if I wanted some. i thought about tipping it over or smashing the bottle. I just got angry and walked away. i felt stressed and sad.

dreamt i was visiting a town i didn't know & staying in a hotel. i left the hotel on my bike at night with a wagon attached to go get groceries nearby. i remember the town was hilly. i got cornered by a guy with a shovel. he was threatening me & wanted to take the bike and wagon. i begged him not to take the bike because i was miles from where i was staying & didn't have a way back. he took the wagon with the groceries and left me my bike. i went back towards the hotel & met someone with "quail eggs" on the way home. they were small and orange & some of them looked like eggs but some of them were a little bigger & looked like squash. I took a large-ish one to bring back to the hotel & when i got there, they confirmed it was a squash, but then it hatched open into a baby chick.