thoughts on talking to neighbors

on my bike home from work I saw an older woman running through my neighborhood, striding about a pace I would, and thought of asking her to be my running partner, even though I'm leaving town in an little over a month. I went through how the conversation would go, I'd hop off my bike & introduce myself and then tell her "hey, I'm looking for people in the area to run with, but just for the next month" and maybe she'd smile and agree to and ask what's my schedule like. as I was pedaling up my hill I became angry that I hadn't/ couldn't stop and just do that. mostly for fear of rejection, but where'd that ingrained feeling come from? I'm mildly outgoing, I don't have a fear of starting a conversation in places where it's appropriate to walk up to a stranger & begin one, but something taboo exists around talking to people 1. outdoors and 2. out of your age and gender demographic. It is so fun to get to know what parts of their lives strangers want to share with you. I let myself imagine the cool things this lady who's old enough that she could be my mom has done and places she's gone to that she would tell me all about as we jogged side by side through the streets of downtown des moines. She and I could be great friends and we'd never have the chance to know because of the isolationist society we have all been tricked into and that makes me feel so frustrated! I thought about the community Facebook page that I've heard that my neighborhood has and thought for a split second of making an account to find her & reach out that way, but having that thought made me mentally gag and rip out all of my hair! insane what I've become because of the online!

I know, the easy answer to this is that I just "become" the person who asks a stranger to go on a run with me. I hope to get there eventually, and I'm certain with the liberty of old-age I'll get there, but I wish it was now. I do my best by just saying "hello" to my apartment neighbors in the hallway, but I've gotten maybe 2 real hellos back and everyone else looks down or just nods & grins. both that and nearly every interaction I've had in a grocery store tells me we are all in the same boat (at least in the midwest?)

My fear not only comes down to rejection, but the fear I'll make someone else uncomfortable or afraid. I think both outcomes are entirely possible, but not really probable. I think, had she declined an offer to be running-pals, the most that would've come out of the exchange would have been her telling her gen-x spouse about the wacky young adult she met on the street earlier and some mild judgements behind closed doors. ugh.