necessary lifestyle change

Recently, while watching an interview done by FaceCulture with Adrianne Lenker in 2019, I decided it was finally time to break free of my social media addiction. Adrianne was asked what "drives" her creatively, and she at first said that no one-thing was the source of her motivation, but after a moment, reconsidered and said it came from a "push and a pull." That energy, that forward and behind, is everyone's most certain journey, birth to death. She went on to say that she supposed someone could be born and do nothing their whole life and still end up arriving somewhere, but this notion feels sad and morbid.

Well to me, using so much of my time online, not really learning much, just bathing in observations, quips, and the self-deprecation of so many, is just letting myself birth my energy into nothing, to nowhere. Being online, on social media, is being unconscious, being unaware of existing. My friend P. told me a story of one day when an older woman tapped her on the shoulder as she was sitting on a bus in Montreal, doom-scrolling twitter on her phone. She asked P. what she was doing, and asked her if she would please stop. "You stop breathing when you're doing that" she told P.

Whether or not P. was literally holding her breath while scrolling, there is a cease of flow from our own personal energy/aura that happens when we let social media sites absorb it all. I fool myself every day I use these sites into believing I'm keeping in touch with my friends lives or the news, but in reality I'm draining myself of real communication with my own thoughts and feelings & of real, intimate, personal connection with people I love & with the flow of energy connecting all life. It is, especially right now, important to be aware of those we cannot be with in person, however reading a post cast into the void is not the way to awareness.

As much as I feel like casting my twitter into the black hole of the deactivation button, I am deciding to keep it in-tact for future sharing of my music and creative projects, however I will be taking action to prevent myself from subjecting my consciousness & inner self to this level of abandonment again (i'm gonna figure out how to block twitter on my phone). I hope that my local friends keep me in the loop about actions/mutual aid events when support is needed, but i will try to check those pages regularly. I do worry about missing future scheduled events, but I am sure I will be forced to communicate better and reach out to loved ones to ask "what's up?"

interview with adrianne lenker here -

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JimMROaBxQ