dreams

dreamt I was at an experimental music show and there were a lot of people there. sat next to the strings guys and talked about deleuze with them. d was dressed like an airbender, blue paint & robes and all. after the show I went & talked to other people & started to feel like I was having a hard time connecting & felt super sad until some different friends from out of town arrived. saw alex & J from chicago and we went to another show. K played a piece that involved her putting a large marble slab on a keyboard and dropping glass marbles on top & it sounded so colorful. I got a call from my landlord asking me to repaint the rooms in my house and at first he said he trusted my opinion on whatever colors but then he said to paint them all yellow. (Maggie Nelson wrote about doing that in Bluets)

d.s. was encouraging me to go back to school for music at a school in the bay area that cost too much money. i didn't feel confident about it but sent the school an email. when i told him, he & gfm. got excited about it, told me they knew it would be good for me. it felt nice that they were taking me seriously but i didn't like the pressure. I went outside to think & a man on a motorcycle slowed down in the street and turned around & shot at me 3 times, I dodged & shouted no don't, the bullets missed me anyway though & he drove off

dreamt i was at kenny’s with my friend/roommate J, except it wasn’t kenny’s it was the same blue-interior/tall ceiling place from my nap dream yesterday. in “kenny’s” we went to put quarters in the coin-operated plastic-egg toy dispenser thing and got mood rings & then complimented each other on how the mood rings suited us. jesse’s turned white and opalescent and mine turned black. i felt sad that they didn’t match, went for a walk & it was drizzling outside in the wooded place.

nap-dreamt I was leaving a rehearsal, putting away my cello & had my bike with me. i was leaving through a tall ceiling'd hallway with green tile floors and deep stoney blue walls from the 70's. it was sunset so just a little natural light was coming through the big windows and I felt a little calm, a little malaise. I saw 2 friends leaving from another room into the hallway and wanted to say hey but knew I had to pretend not to know one of them. they split off one way and I left to go outside through a different set of double doors. there were trees all around and the air was heavy and cool like late-spring evenings are. I turned the corner to go to another building and my adroit friend who had noticed me pretending ran to catch up with me. I felt an extreme mix of joy and sorrow, as if i had the sun in my chest and it was being watered down with a garden hose. we walked in and out of buildings and around corridors and took turns holding the doors open for each other, looking into each other's eyes and cracking jokes. I woke up when my landlord let the plumber in.

dreamt I was walking around a wooden home with large windows. a bunch of people were living there, something a little more permanent than a hostel. i went for a walk outside with my baseball friends K & E. all of a sudden sirens are going off and we book it inside. I see out the window 5 of the largest planes flying so low to the ground. the plane in the center drops a nuke but it's too far away for immediate consequences. we're chatting & kind of freaking out but keeping our cool. someone I don't know comes in from outside & we tell her we're worried she was exposed. she takes a shower but I think the water's contaminated too, but I don't worry her. I start to think about how my lifespan will be reduced, how I'll get cancer, make peace with it. we go outside & see a large fluffy dog and I feel sad for her. there's ash or confetti everywhere but K says he wants to get back to work on his garden so I say I'll help.

a ghost told me I was tempting bad luck by sleeping with a watch under my pillow (i was not) and then piracy song william was stuck in my head so loud it woke me up 30 min before my alarm !

I dreamt I showed up at a chamber music workshop where I was going to live for 2 weeks and play chamber music with a group of people. I set up my sleeping bag/ bedding area in this communal space and everyone was worried about the huge storm outside. later I went to the first meeting but realized I never registered for anything and the guy running it was an asshole about it but there was someone else on his list named "mere wood" and I was hoping it was a mistake. I asked if there was any way I could stay and he said no & mocked me in front of everyone :-(