April Dreams

in my dream I was in the missouri botanical garden climatron. I was trying to leave and kept getting trapped in conversation with strangers.

the sounds of windchimes and birds entered my dream and woke me up

Dreamt I was touring again. h & I went to meet L. she wasn't around but she was in a sugarbaby relationship with an old tan guy with wrinkled tattoos and he was there. I chatted with him for a bit & he was friendly & a musician but also a little skeezy & I didn't want L to have to see him anymore so H & I were gonna take her along with us on tour & not bring her back. I started to worry how L would feel, us making this decision for her, but believed truly it was the right choice.

dreamt I almost got arrested for smoking weed at a water park in California. it didn't add up, I argued with the cops about it

dreamt I was on tour, picked up RD to accompany us for the rest of the tour (& felt excited & shy about it) & had a hard time finding parking in the city. the streets & sidewalks were wide & the buildings were sparse so you could see around a lot.

dreamt I was swimming in a big, blue, indoor pool, kind of felt like kirksville's old aquatic center but bigger. A showed up & we lap swam & talked a bit, but i don't remember much about the conversation. i got a text from A (same person, a second one, but older) saying he would be coming to swim soon. 1A said he'd never met 2A but he liked his work & wanted to meet him. i felt confused how i had two friends who were practically the same person but never realized before. we got out & went to look for him but the pool was also in a big train station with a lot of people. a couple asked me for help getting a train to Amsterdam & I gave them the rest of the money in my wallet. I thought I lost 1A but saw him again. we found orange duck flipper shoes & I said 2A must be there because he sometimes comes to swim wearing a duck costume that he changes out of (subversive? 🤔) I lost 1A shortly after that & found 2A talking with a lot of people & came up to talk with them & tried to get him to meet 2A but didn't wanna bug him. then I got a text that 1A went home & the dream ended.

(note: idk why my friend A shows up in dreams so often, but that aside, I'm wondering if this dream is my subconscious letting me know that there are two parts of myself that are not meeting/not in harmony that should be unison? most things in my life are very good lately, but there's been recent conflict amongst my friends that has left me feeling some heartbreak & inconclusivity)

r & I both had bad dreams last night

remembered a dream vividly when I first woke up, then on my second alarm forgot most of it, but remembered someone trying to show me what it was through a window they were holding. it was frosted glass so I couldn't see through it & there were some smiley face stickers in different colors on the window

dreamt someone asked why the initials lmh were carved onto my heart shaped earring and I got to tell them about my best friend. then ro & i were driving & everything was flush with green again (like it is now in missouri) and there was a tornado shaped storm but a lot wider and the funnel was on the side, & r told me its name (something starting with "pso‐") so he turned to go another direction & I mentioned that we were "different because I would have driven toward it." we got to a town and every store front was arranged with so many flowers it was like parade floats & I wondered how they could afford to have so many

dreamt I was drafted into the army, but I was also doing child care. I was put in charge of bringing a letter to K who just moved & had to go through desert to get to her. I had to take time off to do it & others in the army gave me shit for it. they said I took too much time off. suddenly we were told to put on these linen boot socks (2feet in one sock) to make it hard to run. our hands were supposed to be bound as well, but I got around it somehow. the person who was supposed to be leading us started firing off his machine gun & we scattered & ran up this rocky, dusty hill to try to get away but it was all in panic. I'm not sure who made it. I did but I didn't run very far.

it felt like a college campus. I hung out with this guy who seemed cool & some other folks who didn't really know the guy, but it turned out he had cameras all over his room so I broke some & left. he came back in the room & was begging us not to tell people & claiming it wasn't as it seemed. I walked out & was walking to find people I knew & there was a massive fascist protest (anti-antifa) going on. it was violent and loud. I tried to walk through them to go the opposite direction but ended up just walking entirely away to this grassy area. I met a tall, beautiful woman with long hair who needed my help with setting up a presentation. I helped her with the projector & she gave a really moving speech about indigenous ecology/climate movement & the board she was presenting to wasn't feeling her at first but when she finished they all went nuts & it was kind of freaky bc they sat on clown head podiums, but they wanted to give her funding for her movement and I was so excited for her. then I went outside & found this field of tall grass up to my shoulders that was golden in the sun, but the distance was overcast & dark indigo. it was breathtaking & I ran through the field & my cousins were there as children & I took a video of them to send to my aunt M. when we were done, I went to another presentation that was held outside & A was presenting over something tech that I didn't understand but I stayed to be supportive.

dreamt I was at a big fancy dinner party I didn't want to be at, I was crashing the party with 2 other people. it was full of old conservative white people. i asked what the party was for & got laughed at. I just wanted to find L. we decided to leave to go to this cool camping spot but had to wait a while. I smoked with someone else who didn't want to be there. we wanted to walk & it ended up being a longer walk than it was supposed to be, but it was nice. through the city & then through the woods.