april

dreamt I decided to go back to kirksville for music therapy & my old cello professor took me back in his studio. also that I took the train home & it felt so real, riding on the outside of a box car. someone helped me out with hoping on. I had the thought, "I'm really doing it this time, it's not just a dream"

apr 29 2021

I went for a run and ended up at a large building. I knew was 15 minutes late for something, but I just decided to go to the pool there and meet up with my swim team friends. all cis guys and one girl, very straight group of people. I thought we were all getting along well despite my new-ness to the squad. one blonde guy told me I apologized too much and was being really critical of me so I got upset and walked off. i stole a disposible camera on my way out. I went outside and it was sunny and warm & there was prairie grass everywhere. I started my jog back home but stopped because 2 large grizzly bears and a baby bear were running my direction. I got nervous and froze and let the baby bear come up to me. he made a stumbling noise and they all passed around me. there were more bears all running around this prairie so I waited until they passed to keep running. I finally found the old dirt road I had taken earlier and ended up having to jog through a smoothie shop to get past it. a man was being asked to leave because he wanted a smoothie but it was too late in the day and they were only serving beer. there were several more smoothie shops in the completely rural area I jogged home through, I was confused why the man was being so persistent at this particular smoothie shop